Anonymous: My boyfriend and I are both Christians and we both promised on waiting until we are married to have sex, but he sends me nudes all the time. I told him I'm not gonna send him my nudes and he said it's okay, but he keeps on sending nudes. I told him those nudes make it hard for me to hang on to our promise. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna lose him, I love him very much, but the nudes make things a bit hard for me as I feel very tempted. Am I overreacting? What should I do?



You are NOT overreacting. I’m trying to make myself tell you to be compassionate and kind, which I do want to encourage, but you just need to be straight up with him and tell him what’s up:

  • no one should ever receive a dp who hasn’t specifically asked for a dp and most people don’t ask for dps. so tell him to cut it out.
  • tell him to respect y’all’s conversation, and that you’re not interested in being the only one who carries the weight of purity. that is not an easy thing to uphold, and if you’re having to do that alone, you’re much better off without him. a one-sided effort in a relationship is never healthy.
  • also, tell him to grow up and get a hobby besides taking penis selfies. i’m honestly just annoyed with guys who do that.

One of my favorite quotes is by Leslie Ludy. She said that true love values the other person by knowing their weaknesses and not taking advantage of them by leading a person into lust or compromise. Currently, your bf isn’t doing that. Communicate this to him, and if he doesn’t stop, tell him to lose your number and walk away from that relationship, because the problem at that point won’t be that he’s sent you an archive of dps, but that he doesn’t value you, or your relationship enough to practice self-control and wisdom, and when that is the case, there are so many other ways this will manifest in y’all’s future together, and you deserve so much better.

The lack of quality in men today disgusts me! Lord, let men begin to know what it means to walk in purity and righteousness once again. Let women stand up for holiness and not stand for selfishness in men, may Christ always be the example we all strive for.

"A person who cultivates the virtue of chastity is one who is in control of their sexual desire, rather than their sexual desire being in control of him or her. To be chaste is to be free."

Matt Fradd (via worshipgifs)